Thank You Starbucks Thieves

I miss the days when people had to lock up their rocks
So much of the city looks just like the Generic Yuppie glass & metal building they live in, with a bank branch, Starbucks, and cellphone outlet on the ground floor.  And no matter where they go they're connected by mobile device to safety, to family & friends, to brands & trends.

So you can hardly blame them for acting like they're at home everywhere they go, traipsing around in sweatpants & flip flops with -- in between the laptop, iPhone, and stainless steel commuter mug -- at least a thousand dollars worth of shiny stuff.  You can hardly blame them for turning into Bambi.

Still, I'd like to thank the Starbucks thieves for doing what nature intended, and stealing all their stuff: As the Careless Order a Latte, Thieves Grab Something to Go [NYT]

The reporter thought "insult was added to injury" because a few people witnessed a thief in action and didn't lift a finger to stop them.  Ha!

Personally, I'd consider protecting your mom's honor, but your thousand dollars worth of shiny stuff?  After you park yourself in proximity to people then proceed to run your mouth like they don't exist?  Puh-lease... In fact I'd smile and wave at the thief, and just hope they don't sell your laptop to someone just like you.

What do you expect when so many people are more tightly bound to iPhone Space than physical space, where we have to tune out more and more every year because "public space" is being converted into a dumping ground full of the broadcast exhaust of people with their ass in this world but their head up another?

NYC Irritation Innovation

Sightseers swing past earth at Columbus Circle
NYC is a hotbed for innovating things that irritate.

Old irritation: Idling sightseeing buses.

New irritation: Idling sightseeing buses with huge ads exhorting people not sitting on their ass on the bus to get in shape, like above.

Old irritation: Door jumpers.  You open a door for yourself and someone a few lengths away jumps through it before you do.  They're parasitic ghosts who slip through space between real people, stealing muscle power, avoiding having to touch the filthy door (probably some of the same people who use a store restroom, don't wash their hands, then fondle merchandise or clamp their polluted hand on the escalator rail on the way out).

New irritation: Door jumpers using cellphones, who consider it only right that others open doors for them because they are busy on the phone.

Old irritation: Spatially oblivious people.  Like spaced-out tourist families that pick the most congested choke point in pedestrian traffic to stand around debating where to go next -- forcing everyone else to churn through their whirlpool of confusion.

New irritation: Spatially oblivious iPeople.  They notice you are about to collide, so they consult their cellphone -- they actually stutter-stop for a half second to study it as you converge -- as though they hope to flee into Cyber Phone Space and avoid your onrushing mass of molecules.

I have seen people do this at the most inappropriate moments -- stepping onto or off a train, in the middle of a busy doorway -- and suspect they really are split between worlds, too lazy to choose one.

And speaking of "inattention to surroundings," the article at the link below is a hoot.  It says that, even before cellphones, national park visitors would put their kids on a wild animal's back for a snapshot.  Now they use technology to extend their idiocy.  One quartet of hikers sent out high tech emergency signals three times -- each time sending a $3400 an hour helicopter into action -- and refused to fly out until forced.  Their second emergency?  They thought the local water "tasted salty."
- Technology Leads More Park Visitors Into Trouble, NYT