cross, so drivers can stop and contemplate their role in Global Warming
You might think that, as a blogger, I just run my mouth and leave it at that. But talk is cheap, and I am a man of action! Here's what I've been doing to make NYC a better place:
Reduce Clutter and Noise. If I notice a distracted cellphone user peering at my ankles -- using me as a guide through sidewalk traffic so they can update their Facebook page or argue with a Customer Service representative while on the move -- I try to lure them into vehicle traffic to get run over.
Reduce Health Care Costs. If I succeed in getting them run over, or I come across the scene of an accident, I become a First Responder and ask the victim questions from my Karma Triage Checklist like: Who did you vote for in the past few elections, do you support universal health care, and have you ever been a murderer, a child molester, or a Fox News fan?
If they pass the test, I yell for the paramedics; if they fail, I flash my 99 Cent Store badge and tell the gathering crowd to disperse, then drag the failure to the gutter, cover them with newspaper, and leave their fate to God.
This may seem cruel, but since we have a huge surplus of assholes on earth, why hoard them?
Reduce Effects of Global Warming. When miserable summer heat forces me out of my oven-like apartment, I find a strip of stores with arctic air conditioning and automatic sliding doors, then walk back & forth in front of them. This approach not only cools me down, it cools down the city and planet too!
What have YOU done today to make NYC a better place?
