But if you want a SOLUTION, read on.
Bankers are too arrogant to change their ways; just like the oil barons, they'll ride the world into its grave before they give up a cent of their ill-gotten gains.
GOP politicians will never change; they are a disease festering in the bowels of this nation, a huge malignant mass snaking up from where Boehner, McConnell and Cantor's heads stick out America's ass, squirming like the 3 Stooges stuck in a porthole.
So I hereby declare the start of a new political party, the Topless Party.
I was going to call it the Guillotine Party but, being French, "guillotine" makes it sound too elitist. And this party is gonna be about as elitist as a county jail headcheese sandwich.
The party platform boils down to adding a constitutional amendment that makes being too rich a capital crime, so that if you reach a certain level of wealth, adjusted for inflation, your head will be chopped off in the village square. Billionaires -- that most useless and dangerous class of criminal -- will be the first to go topless.
Sure there are hundreds of millions of poor assholes out there who deserve a head chopping, but it's much more efficient to start at the top, with the people who siphon so much wealth for themselves, then use it to spread misery at the bottom.
Just as a hypothetical case, consider the billionaire David H. Koch, master polluter and right wing kingpin -- born with a silver spoon worth a few hundred million, yet bitter as hell that you have anything at all -- who's bought off the cream of NYC aristocracy and has a building named after him at Lincoln Center.
This pestilent fascist prince should not be allowed to spread cold germs, much less pump millions of dollars worth of self-serving poison into society's bloodstream.
Soon it will be "Off with his head!," which we'll stuff and mount on his Lincoln Center building like a moose head, to remind budding aristocrats that there's a new mob in town, and constitutional limits to financial gluttony.
Of course he'll get a public trial -- we are not savages! -- confined to a courtroom cage like they use for mobsters in Italy, chained a few feet away from a starving, abused circus bear with a taste for well-fed flesh, just to keep him alert as the bailiffs count through his piles of bills, securities and gold. And he will get as many lawyers and appeals as a Mexican groundskeeper at one of his estates would get if he got caught pilfering posies.
Just imagine: no more arrogant billionaires towering over the land like the Colossus of Rhodes, pissing in the sea, laughing at us suckers too weak to take the millions needed to become a billionaire.
After the trial and head chopping, all us non-billionaire Americans will get even shares of the money. And since a billion dollars divided 300 million ways is more than 3 bucks apiece, we only have to round up a few billionaires to score enough beer money to start planning the head chopping assembly line we'll need to take care of the bankers and GOP politicians -- just because they have not yet reached billionaire status doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of service.
You know, it feels great to start a political party that actually stands for something, with a straightforward solution to all our problems. Frankly it makes me a little teary eyed and, to repeat the words of Sarah Palin the other day on Tea Party victories from coast to coast:
"This is our moment! This is our Morning in America!! This is our chance to annihilate our enemies, bowl their heads across the lawn and drink their blood!!! Give Me the Money, America... then give me the blood, the sweet sweet blood... enough to irrigate the desert, paint the clouds red, and drown the sun!!!"
