With the world up to its neck in a cesspool of evil, and not a lifeboat in sight, I've been forced to take supernatural measures, to pray like hell for a Vicious Christmas Miracle and conjure Dark Forces with an assortment of hexes, curses and spells, to serve my enemies the slow and painful justice they've earned!The target of my first curse is Rupert Murdoch. Seldom has the gift of life been squandered with the gusto spent on this evil pile of flesh. On to the cursing!
Please groan the following chorus (of two anagrams for "Rupert Murdoch" generated by the Internet Curse Server) over and over while you read the curses below: Cur Turd He Romp, Rec Duh Rump Rot
- May the withered, flaccid remnants of his sex organs get slammed in a car door.
- May the used toilet water that irrigates his diseased flesh back up into his head and gush out his grotesquely hairy ears and nose, leaving tiny dingle-berries of toilet paper hanging in their hair trees.
- May those same nose hairs braid themselves overnight, snake around his neck while he snores, and strangle him.
- May his progeny grow to hate him even more than they already do, and succeed in their plots to shorten the time he stands between them and his money.
Viagra Angel & Murdoch
- And while I'm at it, may all those evil elves, from Roger Alies on down to Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, catch the same case of crotch cooties, and scratch them so furiously that they churn themselves up into an angry white tornado of skin dust, that whirls off across the plains and erases half the Bible Belt before it leaps into space to scratch itself against the sun and, like dried cat crap placed at the business end of a particle accelerator, explodes in a poof! of particles that scatter across a half dozen backwater spacetime dimensions, the sewer pipes of Creation, and be flushed down the drain for good.
Or at least until my dark mistress, the Savage Queen of Curses, decides that Creation is a little low on evil.
